If there’s one thing that holds guys back when it comes to interacting with women, it’s fear of rejection. Anticipating the outcome and fearing the worst underlies approach anxiety, insufficient physical escalation, not making moves, etc. In short, all the reasons men lose women… It could be said that the #1 cause of loss of women is the fear thereof.
The main mistake guys make, which leads to the fear of rejection, is to set unrealistic expectations.
If you started learning French, you wouldn’t expect to become fluent after the 1st class.
Yet most guys approach an attractive woman with the tacit expectation that picking her up is the only successful outcome, and that anything short of that equals rejection and failure. Even if they have little or no experience! This is wholly unrealistic…
“Fear of rejection is the #1 cause of loss of women.”
Setting realistic expectations is the only way to stay motivated and enjoy the learning process.
If you’ve never approached a female stranger, don’t worry about her reaction, getting numbers or kisses. Focus only on practicing the basics. First, how to approach – the first 10 seconds. Then, how to continue the conversation. Then how to best communicate your qualities so she becomes naturally interested in you. And so on.
“Rejection” is like missing a note in guitar practice. Not only is it not a big deal or a failure, but it is a necessary part of the learning process. I’ve lost count of the times women walked away from me mid-conversation, refused to exchange numbers, didn’t pick up when I called or wouldn’t meet me. It may not have felt great at the time, but none of those “rejections” was a failure or demoralized me. Every single one taught me something.
In fact, I value the mistakes and the times I got rejected more than the successes and the moments of glory. It’s the wrong turns that teach you memorable lessons. If I hadn’t done it wrong (many times…), I wouldn’t have learned how to do it right.
So the next time things don’t go well and you feel rejected, see it as a natural occurrence, and an opportunity to learn. And approach another woman right away.
Another big misconception about rejection is that it is a temporary nuisance suffered only by the beginners and the unskilled.
A lot of guys think pickup is a mathematical process. If you master it and know all the right answers, you can seduce any woman, single, married or lesbian. Like a hypnotic trance.
Unfortunately, this myth is propagated by the entertainment industry and by the fallacious marketing of some seduction “experts”.
The truth is that even the best in the world get rejected. All the time.
In fact, the better you get, the more you’ll get rejected.
The more experienced and confident you are, the more daring your approach, the more risks you take and the more sexual interest you demonstrate. As a result, your intentions are clear and women are forced to make a decision. Sometimes it will be yes, and sometimes no (or not yet…), but either way you know where you stand.
What determines how good you are is not how often you get rejected, but whether you fear rejection and, mainly, whether you let it affect you.