Gil Rio

Improve Your Dating and Relationships

Gil Rio - Improve Your Dating and Relationships

Confidence with women: the psychology of building your self-esteem

Confidence with women: the psychology of building your self esteem


We’ve all heard it. Women are attracted to confident men.


But how do you become confident with women?

Telling a guy who wants to improve with women to “be confident” is like telling a millionaire wannabe to “make lots of money”. It doesn’t help much.


We focus on what works. My job is to improve your love life as quickly and painlessly as possible.


A good way to start building your confidence with women is to wage war on your limiting beliefs. Any thought of the kind “I don’t do well with women because I’m lacking X” falls into this category. Especially when X is something physical or material.


I’m too short, too fat, too thin, too ugly, too poor, too young, too old, too light, too dark…

I’ve heard each of these excuses many times.


How do you overcome a limiting belief?


In the words of Confucius, “The man who thinks he can, and the man who thinks he can’t, are both right”. Your beliefs have the power to alter your reality. This is known as a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe women are not interested in you because you’re too short, you will cause exactly that outcome – they will be less interested in you. Not because of your height!!! But because of the lack of confidence you’ll project.

 “build your confidence with women by waging war on your limiting beliefs”

A good trick to get rid of a limiting belief and build confidence is to find an exception. Due to the principle of cognitive dissonance, your brain can’t hold two contradictory beliefs at the same time. So if you have a friend who is short, yet confident and dates beautiful women, it will be hard for you to believe that your lack of success stems from your height. Your brain will be forced to either come up with another excuse or, eventually, face the fact that nothing is really holding you back.

 Confidence with Women

So find someone with your same “limiting characteristic” (short, bald, fat, etc.) who has success. Don’t know someone like that? How about a celebrity?


Almost all characteristics associated with limiting beliefs can be found in some of my fellow dating coaches at Love Systems. Our roster covers every race, height, age and level of physical beauty.


Love Systems instructor Mr. M was frequently described by his friends as “short and ugly”. Bonsai is 5’6’’. They are both Asian and both date some of the hottest women around. Both Mr. M and Bullet (who is over 50yo!) have picked up Playmates. Mark V has only one arm. And the list goes on and on…


 These guys have all sorts of physical limitations, yet they are incredibly successful. Why? Because they have worked on building their confidence with women, and in the process have become attractive men.

The bottomline is, if you still use this type of excuse (“I’m too old, too short, not the right race, etc.”), STOP NOW!!!


You don’t need height, hair, money or fame to have a great romantic life.


The true keys to attracting a beautiful woman are your behavior and mindset. Both can be learned and developed.

 Any man can revolutionize his love life by learning the right skill set and improving himself.